ESRD

Some old (well, not REALLY old) memories got reopened today. It turns out there is a woman at work who is currently in the same situation I was in just a few years ago: her husband is diabetic and is in the beginnings of ESRD. We talked a bit and will definitely talk more. I still feel frustration and fear over that whole situation with Jay. Because it isn't over. Unfortunately, I see the kidney transplant as a postponement. I know people have been known to live for years and years and years with a healthy transplant, but Jay still does not have good sugar control. That is what killed his kidneys in the first place. So its like a can of worms has been opened and my thoughts and emotions are all over the board on this. Its a very hard, very serious situation. I'm glad I can be of help, though, to someone else. We had help of friends and family, but didn't have KNOWLEDGE help... if you know what I mean. No one else had been through it, no one else knew exactly what we were dealing with, and no one else even knew anything really about ESRD and everything that goes with it. I'm glad that I can help make some of that clear to this woman and her husband, because people going through ESRD really need a lot of support that they don't get from the nurses and doctors.

I'm gonna end this for now, because there's school tomorrow, and I really need to go to bed. But I'll be revisiting this.

The internet is a time vacuum

I swear I lose more time being online than doing anything else in my life. I can sit down to the computer and start to do something and before I know it HOURS have gone by... and I don't feel like I'm accomplished anything! I just looked at the clock and realized that I have been sitting here for almost 3 hours! And what do I have to show for that time? Not a damn thing. What did I do? I read comics, did my dailies on Neopets, sent out a couple of emails (turns out one of them was one I'd already sent out a few months ago LOL), received & read a few emails, cleaned out my email inbox (somehow I had accumulated 1009 emails!), tried to explain to my husband about making a picture a link on his MySpace page, and read some information about becoming an Associate with Amazon.com. I did so much, but have nothing to show for it (other than an empty inbox...which will last maybe until tomorrow morning). And yet I know I could sit on here for a few more hours and still not have done all the things I want to research, explore, or view. There's just not enough time in the day.

My eyes are sandy though, so I should probably give up the keyboard & mouse to my husband and go to bed. Let him get sucked into the internet. I have a good book to read. (-;

Beginnings...

I've never been good at beginnings. Endings either for that matter. I'm most comfortable in the middles, as I am now -- in the middle of my life. Middles are like an old comfortable shoe... fitting every groove, swell, and bend of me. :-)

But beginnings...
... I don't make good first impressions
... I don't think fast on my feet
... I don't instantly warm to people
... Introductions are awkward for me
... I'm not an instigator. Although, I'm not a follower either.

Beginning this blog has taken me almost a year. I signed on in June 2007. Its April 2008 now. I'm late to blogging, I know. I lost touch with some technology when I left college, and then more when my youngest siblings left college. My profession (teaching) doesn't keep me up to date with technology. I have to seek it out on my own.

So I see blogging as a sort of public journal. Which is a problem for me. I keep a journal. However, my journal is VERY private. No one sees my journal, not even my husband (who is pretty much my best friend these days). So the idea of a PUBLIC journal kinda scares me. My thoughts out there for anyone to see? Do I want that? Is anyone really going to care what I have to say? Do I care if anyone cares what I have to say? LOL How arrogant we humans are. LOL