Wednesday, September 18, 2019

Eight Months as a Widow

I have missed Jay terribly this month.  In all the little ways and for all the little things that make a man your husband and make having a husband worthwhile - all the things that made Jay my best friend... 

    ...a shoulder to cry on when things get rough
    ...someone to talk to about the every day things
    ...someone to come home to
    ...a listening ear for even the craziest ideas or thoughts
    ...someone to listen to
    ...arms to hold me tight
    ...cold toes pushed against the back of my legs
    ...a bony elbow poking in my back 
    ...a warm body wrapping around me in the middle of the night

and so many other things. 

I missed him so much this month.  School started back in session, and he wasn't there to help me get things ready.  He wasn't there to listen to me bitch about waste-of-time meetings.  He wasn't there to wish me a good first day of school.  He wasn't there for me to come home to and tell how things went each day.  He wasn't there to hear about my students - the good and the bad.  I started grad school; he would have been so proud of me.  He wasn't there...

He isn't here.

It hurts so bad sometimes.  I miss him so much.  My best friend is gone.


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