18th Wedding Anniversary

Today would have been our 18th wedding anniversary.  18 years.  It seems such a long time and such a short time all at the same time.  Like one could say, "Wow!  18 years!  You lasted longer than a lot of people."  Or as I say, "I only had 18 years with him.  It could have been so much longer."  It doesn't feel like 18 years at all to me.

I spent the weekend up in the mountains with family.  Then today, I went up to the hill behind my parents' house where we got married around noon to kind of settle myself in, do some journal writing, and some crying.  At 1:00, I started playing some of our music from the reception ending with the song that Jay sang to me at our wedding - "Ribbon in the Sky" by Stevie Wonder.  I spread some of his ashes while the song played.  I never really understood what a ribbon in the sky was supposed to mean, but I guess now it stands for Jay.  Jay is now my ribbon in the sky.

Love you forever, my Jaybird.