Jay's Birthday - First one since he died

I decided I needed to do something special for Jay's birthday.  After consulting Deloris, I decided a trip to the beach was in order.  I really would have preferred to go to the Outer Banks for this first birthday without him, but that's a long drive for a weekend.  As it was, I asked off work for his actual birthday.  Luckily, it was a Friday.  I decided to go to Carolina Beach, since that was our second go-to for beach time.  I also decided to spread some of his ashes there.  This would be the first spreading of any of his ashes that I'd done.

I arrived to find that my room had been all paid for by my sister Tammy, and then found some lovely flowers in my room from her as well.

I proceeded to light some candles on a donut for Jay's birthday.  He would have been 53.

I got up before the sun the next morning, camped out on the beach, and spread his ashes as the sun rose.

Snap is definitely female!

So with bearded dragons (and many reptiles), it can be hard to tell their sex.  I was 90% sure that Snap was female, but it was finally confirmed for me.  She laid eggs last night!  They are infertile, since she's never been with another dragon, since I bought her three?? years ago.  Pretty cool though.

Water Lantern Festival

On April 20th, I attended a Water Lantern Festival in Charlotte and launched a water lantern in memory of Jay.  My friends Deloris and Lara attended with me.  It was a peaceful night.

The launch:

Three Months as a Widow

April 18 · 

Today marks three months since Jay's death. (Three months as a widow) Today has been sort of a numb day; not really feeling much. The past month has been really difficult; missing Jay for the little, everyday things and the sharing of stuff that happens living life. It feelings like both the longest and the shortest three months of my life.
Love you forever, my Jaybird

"Highlights" from the rest of the third month:

March 21 · 

And today was something good. I cried through my lunch, because I realized I don't have Jay at home to tell my good news to when I get home.

Love you forever, my Jaybird

March 22 · 

This. This is why his death is so hard. Jay was my home. Love you forever, my Jaybird

March 28 · 

Another successful STEM Night in the books. Mom and Dad came down again with all of Dad's lovely nature stuff for display. Dad said it was the best one yet. I'm feeling bittersweet about it, as this is the first one without Jay. I wanted to come home and tell him all about it, but I can't.

April 8 · 

Jay's death certificate finally came in the mail today. Not a good day for it.

Love you forever, my Jaybird