Ten months as a Widow

Just reread my last post.  That pretty much still sums up how things are.  So read that if you want more details than what I'm writing here.

I've been feeling really restless the past couple of weeks.  It's a mixture of loneliness, dread of the upcoming holiday season, and missing Jay.  What the hell am I doing with my life?  I feel stuck in a rut, spinning my wheels.   Still no luck on the new friend front, and my old friends feel distant.  *sigh*  I just don't know.