Two months as a widow: Two fucking months since I found Jay dead in his chair. These have been the hardest two months of my life. I don't think I have gone a single day without crying. Some days it's just a small cry over something that tripped me up or a kind word/action from someone. Other days it is gut-wrenching sobs, curled up in the fetal position, yelling out loud, "It's not fair!" But no one ever said that life was fair. And god knows the last two months have been hell. Adding to my sorrow over Jay's death is now the sorrow of his mother passing. While her's was "expected", it is still hard. Two funerals in two months... there are no words to describe it. Even as I sit here in my pain, I think about his Dad. He lost his youngest son and his wife, the woman that he's known since he was 16! (He's in his 80s.) I only had 18 years with Jay; Robert had almost 70 with Sadie. Even given MY pain, I can't imagine HIS pain.
We also lost Jay's mom this month. Death sucks.
RIP Sadie Brown Smith - Jay's beautiful mom. Her battle with ALS is finally over, and she is at peace now.
FB Family I have to share, My beautiful daughter Kayla entered the quite room within Hospice of the Piedmont to check on her grandmother; as calm as my daughter is she recognized a sense of peace, checked pulse, calls the nurse to confirm, states you’re right...”Kayla whispers Thy Will Be Done” a beautiful expression of peace on this Sunday Morning March 10th, the passing of our Queen Sadie Brown Smith, Mom you fought a good fight; we rejoice as we know there is no more pain and suffering. We rejoice as we know you are now reunited with your baby boy our brother Jarrod (Jay) who passed on January 18, 2019..... Resting In Peace
Two months... feels like yesterday and feels like a lifetime ago. Love you forever, my Jaybird
