One Month as a Widow

February 18 at 6:44 AM · 

One month as a widow: This month has been both exceptionally long and really fast at the same time. I feel like I just kissed him goodnight last night, and I feel like it has been ages since I found him dead in his chair. I miss him so much.

Some "highlights" since the last post:

February 6 at 5:51 PM · 

Came in the mail today

February 7 at 10:53 PM · 

He loved me like no other. You only get that once in a lifetime. Love you forever, my Jaybird.

February 12 at 6:13 PM · 

Was cleaning pictures off my phone and found this one of me and Jay from March 2018.

February 16 at 4:44 PM · 

Pandora, you're killing me today. One of Jay's favorites that he would sing to me.

February 18 at 8:50 PM · 

Love you forever, my Jaybird

Day Eighteen as a Widow

February 4 at 4:31 PM · 

Survived the first day back to work with only 10 landmines (the attached picture, 7 adults hugging me and two children hugging me). Guess I was missed.

February 4 at 9:10 PM · 

Love you forever, my Jaybird

Day Seventeen as a Widow

February 3 at 8:47 PM · 

Day 17 as a widow: still sucks. Many dreams about Jay last night, not all of them good. Made for a slow, sad start to the day. Did my usual Sunday school prep stuff, since I'll be going back to work tomorrow. Spent the evening writing thank you notes. That really sucked. Still have more to do, but stopped tonight when I'd had enough.

February 3 at 6:06 PM · 

Whose stupid idea was it to make people write thank you cards over funeral stuff? Ugh.

February 3 at 9:14 PM · 

Love you forever, my Jaybird

Day Sixteen as a Widow

February 2 · 

Day 16 as a widow: still sucks. Went out twice today. Had a lovely lunch with a friend I hadn't seen in almost two years. Then for dinner, went out with several friends and strangers to celebrate a friend's 40th birthday. Good food, good times... but then I had to come home to an empty house. No one to tell about my lunch or my evening. Hard.

February 2 · 

Love you forever, my Jaybird

February 2 · 

Love you forever, my Jaybird

Day Fifteen as a Widow

February 1 · 

Just picked up Jay's ashes

February 1 · 

Day 15 as a widow (2 weeks) - Picked up Jay's ashes from the funeral home today. It was almost a comfort, like part of him has come back home. It was strange, again, driving up to Greensboro without him sitting beside me in the car.

February 1 · 

Love you forever, my Jaybird